The lighter side of life in the Pedigree Dog World

  by Kay Nein

I know it’s the first year of the century, but sometimes I really do wonder which century some people are living in. Let’s take for example a recent tale I heard about newspaper publishers and the action they took against some of their unpaid contributors, who provide a key element in their canine publications.

Apparently, a number of these free contributors had been approached to supply information, news and gossip to a new Internet venture intending to provide a free information service to canine professionals and the general public alike. A large number of those approached, immediately agreed to contribute, seeing this as a positive move to further publicise and inform on their particular breed and area of interest. In addition, they did not see any conflict of interest and why should they - they are normal mature people who just wish to provide the best possible information service for their breed via whatever routes are available.

Well it appears that Press Baron Ivor Smallmind has a different view of life in the 21st century. As the head of the Fourth Reich Publishing Group, decided that the Internet and all this freedom of speech stuff has gone too far.

The rumour is that he has now taken the first step in stopping the rot, by writing (not him personally but the one person on the staff who can) to every contributor outlining his crusade in the following way.

"If you dare write anything for anybody else, ever, whether it be in print, on tablets of stone, in the sand on the beach, on your tax return or on this damn Internet thingy, you will be persona non grata mate. Get my drift. We’ll be sending the boys in brown shirts round".

Allegedly the communication goes on to refer to some misguided dangers of surfing the net

"In the event that you are unable to comply with our threat/request, the management would advise you to check on your insurance policy as these surfboards can get broke real easy".

As a dog lover and a veteran of many a campaign against restrictive practices, bullies, thugs, general short sightedness and incompetence, I wonder who it is who came up with such a strategy. Maybe he’s still sore because he didn’t get into enough fights at Euro 2000 or as the memsahib says and she’s always right ‘don’t worry dear, maybe he’s just got a very small ****’

Who knows and who really cares because at the end of the day the public will vote with their feet. Must be time for another drink - just to relax of course.

Kay Nein